Ok, I rewrote the Bible into a theatre version. It's not a original idea, but my version is creative. Some people have seen it already, but I'm going to try to update it.
The Theatre Bible
The Theatre Bible
By Allison Dow
In the beginning, there was a play write. An he created a setting. Then he created an actor. And it was good. But the actor needed help, so the play write created an actress. And it was very good. The actor and the actress practiced their lines, but they were bad, very bad. They needed direction, someone to control them and tell them what to do, like a parent, only better. So the play write created a director. The director knew something was wrong, so the play write created a stage for performance. But it was dark, quiet, and empty. The play write knew what he had to do. So he created something to accomplish far more than any actor, actress, or director, could by themselves. He created TECHIES! And they were also good. A little depressing, because all that techies wear is black, but they were still good. The directors said, "Let there be light!" and there was light, and he was seen. Then he said, "Let there be sound!" and his voice was heard. Then the director said, "Let there be props!" and there were props brought to him. But the stage was still missing something. So the director rested for a day, to think what he could do to make the stage complete. When he came back, the techies had created sets! The director asked who had come up with such a great idea. One techie stepped forwards. "From now on," the director said, "you shall be known as the stage manager." And thus, the stage manager came to be.
Day and night, the actors acted, the director directed, the techies teched, and the play write wrote the play. Then came HELL WEEK, and it rained for seven days and seven nights. (But nobody noticed, they were busy working the whole time.) And though it was heaven, it was hell too. Everyone got on each other's nerves, there was no sleep, and it was hard.
Then came opening night. People came from all around, and they saw the greatness that was. And they were amazed. In the end, it was worth the hard work, and they were proud. Thus, theatre was created, and was to forever be heaven and hell on Earth, and true greatness always achieved.
Ten Commandments
1.Honor thy director
2.All was use theatre time
(See other pages)
3.Never say things techies/actors shouldn't say'
(See other pages)
4.Thou shall not covet other parts/positions
5.Thou shall not kill
6.Thou shall not commit adultery (onstage)
7.Do not enter prop closet when door is closed
8.Thou shall not use the directors name in vain
9.Beware the theatre ghosts
10.Honor thy theatre angels
There was one place in the theatre that was forbidden to the actors. This was the prop closet of knowledge. Only the techies were allowed into the prop closet. But the actors were curious. They wanted to know what was inside. So one day, before rehearsal started, the actors ventured into the forbidden prop closet. They then realized that they were naked. And when the play write found out what the actors had done, he punished the entire theatre. He sentenced them to a low budget and limited funding.
The actors now needed clothing. So the play write created a crew. A crew of techies for such a purpose, they were to be called the costumes and make-up crew. And they worked to find the actors clothing. Yet the actors were very uncomfortable in these costumes, they longed to be free. So they often snuck back up to the prop closet to once again be naked. It soon became a ritual. And at 9:59, they would get naked, and Nakie Time was created! And thus the tradition of getting naked in the prop closet, and Nakie Time was born.
But the actors and the techies were hostile to each other. They couldn't communicate. The play write knew that if they could share with each other, the theatre would become a better place. So the play write went to the stage and said, "Follow me, and I will make you techies of acting." He then went to the booth and said, "Follow me, and I will make you actors of teching." The six actors and the six techies united under the play write, and shared their vast knowledge of the theatre of together, became TECHTORS! The 12 techtors went into the world and shared their stories of the theatre. The angels, ghosts, and miracles became known to all mankind.
They then wrote a bible of their stories, hence, the Theatre Bible!
The night before he went to North Carolina, a move he freely accepted, the director held the last supper. The director broke the bread, gave it to his techtors, and said: "Take this all of you, and eat it. This is my social life which was given up for you." After supper was ended, he took the cup. Again he gave the play write thanks and praise, gave the cup to his techtors, and said: "Take this, all of you, and drink from it. These are my tears, the tears of a new and everlasting theatre. It will be shed for you and for all so that sins will be forgiven. Do this in memory of me." And this was the last supper between the director and the techtors.
The End (for now....)
